Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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