I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
