Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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