You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
