Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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