brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
