ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
