Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
