Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
