I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
All the doctor said was why
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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