Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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