i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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