The maid of honor just puked.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
