i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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