at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
