Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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