I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
