he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
