They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
