We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Come share oat with me in your robe
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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