Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
