He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
