I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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