upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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