I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
