My hand turned me down
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You took a bar mat shot.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
