How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
