plz talk dirty to me
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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