I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize