so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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