like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
