After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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