apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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