when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
