you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
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