I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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