I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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