i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
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