Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
