i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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