Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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