Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
