Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
