Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
