u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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