the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
