you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
