Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
