Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
