Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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