I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
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