I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
If I had your ass I would rule the world
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize