Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
